That night, I really wanted to kiss Love before leaving. Instead, I unnaturally hesitated. I was a little upset. I
said I swore I wouldn't talk to Love anymore. How silly. How could I do that? I really admire Love. I reacted out of fear since I thought doing so would only make me think about Love more, miss Love after actually leaving and then result in me
"falling" or caring about Love more. Instead, as I rode the train home, I regretted it!... I listened to my iPod and shoved the thought in the "back" of my head. Then, walking home I thought about it again and shoved it. As I walked up the steps towards my room I reflected. As I undressed I thought about Amor more. I proceeded to pull the covers over my body and head and began to think to myself,
maybe I care about Love more than Love cares about me. Thoughts echoed in my head.
Do I really? Or are the feelings mutual? Well, now that I think about it, of course Love cares. I'm Love's favorite girl! The most beautiful he's ever laid eyes on! So... As I lie in bed, I feel the warmth spread across me. How can I explain the feeling? How can I articulate those feelings through words? As best as I can describe it at the moment, I felt an opening at the core of my being. My spirit awakened. There was a very pleasant sensation at the center of my chest. Warm like light, quickly spreading like a wildfire. I channeled all my feelings and called out Love in my mind. I spoke to Love. Love is in my spirit! My body, mind and soul. And then, I really missed Love and began to cry. I missed Love, even though I just saw and kissed Love a couple of hours ago. My heart did not ache. My mind and spirit expanded. I called out to Love in the beautiful dark. It felt so surreal, like an "outer" body experience, except I was still in my body. Or rather, otherworldly--yet I was still in this world. I transcended. I realized fear of "getting attached" to Love was silly, since Love and I are already connected. Just as everything in this world is. Love is in my soul. It's more than what I wanted to hear. It's what I want to feel. It is at the core of my being. My very existence. There is no need to fear. I am a Bravebird.~*